Wednesday, September 1, 2010

12:57AM


I wait. I know it is coming.
The sinking feeling that
My heart is falling through outer space and is never going to land.
It landed on you 4 years ago and now
Infinite pain is locked inside both of us.
“this pain, this agony! It is good at playing dead.” you say.
It does just that for maybe a few hours at most.
But then I see something, you see something,
I think of you, you think of me.
We know this is what we have to do,
But that does not mean we want it
Nor does that make it any easier for either of us.
Tonight something stirred in us,
We felt our bodies saying things we did not understand
We’ve been sleeping, watching each other whenever we can
Trying to burn the other into our minds because we
Do not know when or if ever again we will see each other.
We hope we will re-learn one day, together and re-learn better.
A new, better way will be found.

Something new 2nd Edition

New hand, soft and unfamiliar
In their gentleness hold me
Keep me afloat and let me
Surrender for as long as
I need to not Hold it together
A voice that tells me
“it will be okay”
Without saying those four words
In that sequence or in
The same instance.
Each pair of eyes
I have ever met are their
Own individual.
These eyes are o exception
These are cool rivers
Running over parched rocks
In dry cracked up mudded
Waterways.
Behind each embrace there is
The secret of tenderness and
Strength that cannot be measured
Though we may travel the world
I know we will meet again
The roaring of the world
Comes to a slow and beautiful halt
As I lay in your summer bed
For what could be the thousandth time but
I know it is the first
Wrapped in blue sheets we lay
Running hands over bodies and I
Ask ‘why’
‘to remember all of you’
Safety, security and comfort engulf me
And now all I wish is that
You were here to help
Me through these things
You helped set in motion

Obssesion of "do not expect and let me lead you blindly"

Drip drop drip drop
Crashing sound of blood in your throat
As we sit and wait, wait for the end, wait for death to take us
And turn our insides yellow
Yellow like the ‘wet floor’ sign placed to warn one
Not to slip and fall of their own free will.

Something New


Hands warm and strong
While memory still holds and while body still has warm
Strength coiled deep into the flesh of
Belly, hips, shoulders and thighs.
Lips caress as slowly fires smother smoulder under my skin
When all you do is look at me
You hold my hand as no one else has
Soft, caring, gentle, but with the undertones of
Disaster to those who bring harm to the ones that you
Love.
We have only one weekend
At the same time we have so many moments
To look back on.
Remember;
seagulls,
Blush wine
Quentin Tarentino
Learning new things about ourselves

To Love What One Does

We hold our dreams above the land, the atmosphere, the galaxy and the universe.
our dreams come before all the others,
this is including ourselves, our bodies,and our minds,
even before our hearts

These dreams will never be broken
they may evolve
they mat change,
or they may morph into something bigger and better.

One thing I am certain of
is that these dreams may be forgotten
but they will never broken.

We love what we do and that is why we do it.
that is the only reason we do it.

War Queen

stand on the beach
the fleet under my command
they are waiting silently deadly
with all these men and boys ready
to die in my name in my honour
and they are all waiting for my command

hello to this, goodbye to that

Wa-tch-ing her be-lieve

Jum-ped from the sky

An-d in-dec-isio-n bre-ath-s

In-to his mi-nd

Sudd-enly he is un-sure if he wan-ts

To tra-vel so exqu-isite-ly wi-th her

Do-wn his ow-n pa-th-w-ay tha-t ha-s been

Lo-cke-d fa-r in his pa-st

She qu-ivers for tru-th an-d

He bru-at-lly verb-al-iz-es it in no

Un-cer-tain ter-ms.

The Burro On April 26th 2010

I wish there were the burro here
Because the burro makes me smile
The burro babies are lucky little beasties to spend all day with him.
I wish there were a burro here because
I do not want him gone from me.
I feel sad when he is not around
And I want no time without him.
I must wait 1 hour an 20 minutes until I see him next.
How I wish the burro were here to talk and be with me
.

Before


This is where we left each other last time
Before.
Before then. before now. before everything
Altered
and before we both changed
Here I leave you now again,
this time
I am not so certain of the future,
and I wish that you were coming back
I wish that we could promise
promise everything promise it would be okay and
promise that this is not the end.
I know, its not the end, it’s a change, a chance
For us to grow.
If its to grow why do I feel like I’ve been
vacated?
I hold you and feel my core tremble as
Its screaming to you “STAY HERE, DON’T LEAVE ME!”
My mind is racing for things to say but nothing is right and
I know using my
words to ask you again to stay will only make
It all the more difficult for both of us.

You’re walking away I hold your hand for as long as I can before the security guard
Gives me a look that tells me to stay where I am
They say when you die, your life flashes before your eyes and
Suddenly memories of you are throw themselves around my mind like a movie screen reel on
Fast forward.
Then I can’t see you anymore.
 
Gone
 
behind the white wall and the urgency of being late to catch
the flight back to be with your family.
I wait five minutes that feel forever,
ten minutes,
fifteen
You are gone.
I think of running past security, holding onto you and
Not letting you go, of saying goodbye to my body and goodbye to
Comfort because
I still love you I have never stopped-I never will.

But I turn around, and walk to the sky train.

I am a ghost, I watch as the us as a couple merge around me
They are happy, holding each other.
In every place I can see them doing the things they do
The “burro’s” and “fishes!” and “wait ups”
The city is closed black around me even as the sun shines through a sheet of cloud
and all I feel is what we call numb but I know that is not what this feeling is
its love and it hurts as though there is no hope or happiness
Left
in the world.
I walk into our apartment, and just like then,
Just like before I hope that you will be

Inside, somehow..

Waiting to say “Love, I’m not going anywhere”